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Jun 10, 2018

Relational Wisdom #1: Conflict

Passage: Proverbs 25:21-22

Speaker: Brian Land

Series: Proverbs

Category: Grace Brevard

Keywords: confession, conflict, failure, forgiveness, freedom, hope, pain, repentance, wisdom

At our very core, we are a product of relationship (the Father, Son and Spirit) and designed to flourish in relationships (with him and one another). Because of this, broken and dysfunctional relationship produce the greatest pain we will ever experience as well as the greatest soil to see the Gospel produce fruit of repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation as we learn the power of Jesus being broken from his Divine Relationship in order to adopt us into it, leaving us with the Holy Spirit that can mend the broken-hearted and bring life from relational death.

Order of Worship

Prelude: Into the Wild - When You Forgive

Call To Worship: Colossians 3:12-14,16 ESV

Songs: This Is Amazing Grace, Wonderful Cross, Be Thou My Vision, Before the Throne

Reading: Matthew 5:43-44 & Romans 5:6-8  

Prayer:  Mission of the Church 

ALL: Everliving God, whose will it is that all should come to you through the finished work of Christ. Inspire our witness, that all may know and extend the power of His forgiveness and the hope of His resurrection; the Son lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, One God, now and forever. Amen.  

Sermon Title: Wisdom in Conflict

Central Text: (Various Proverbs on Forgiveness & Reconciliation)


Response: Confession & Assurance (WSB - Section 2, 31)

LEADER: Merciful God, for all the things we have done that we regret

ALL: Forgive us

LEADER: For all the things we have failed to do that we regret

ALL: Forgive us

LEADER: For all the times we have acted without love

ALL: Forgive us.

LEADER: For all the times we have reacted without thought

ALL: Forgive us.

LEADER: For all the times we have withdrawn care

ALL: Forgive us.

LEADER: For all the times we have failed to forgive

ALL: Forgive us.

LEADER: For hurtful words, unhelpful actions, unfinished tasks and unfulfilled hopes

ALL: Forgive us.

LEADER: God of all love and great mercy

ALL: Forgive us we pray. And help us to lay down these burdens

and receive Your good news.

Benediction: 2 Corinthians 13:11 & Ephesians 4:32 NIV

Post-Service Text: Proverbs 17:9a & Romans 12:21 ESV

Related Scriptures:

Luke 23:34

Matthew 27:45-46

Matthew 5:38-39

Luke 7:47

Romans 12:14-21 ESV

Discussion Questions:

  1. Why is relational drama and pain amongst the worst pain in life?
  2. Talk about a movie, book or tv show that:
    1. Displays relational forgiveness and healing.
    2. Emphasizes cold, harsh justice (or revenge).
  3. Why do we want to see ultimate justice in movies (like in superhero movies)?
    1. Why is revenge such a tasty treat?
  4. When somebody hurts us, what options do we have to deal with it? What do you lean towards? Are you more prone to avoid, attack, confront, slander, gossip, keep score?
  5. What do you think it would mean to be “for” those whom we are naturally (and justifiably) “against”?
  6. The Gospel tells and empowers us to “love our enemies”. In order to do this:
    1. What would we have to believe about the offender?
    2. ...About God’s love and his ultimate justice?
    3. ...About our own need to be forgiven?
    4. ...About the power of God we possess to do this impossible task?
  7. How are forgiveness and reconciliation related? How is each distinct? How does the Gospel of Jesus give guidance for each?
  8. To whom do you need to repent this week?
  9. Who do you need to begin the very long process of forgiving? How can you start that?

Docs & Articles:


  • Forgiveness means having the technical right to exact some penalty but electing not to pursue it. This breaks the cycle of retribution with unearned, undeserved mercy….It is crucial to note that forgiveness doesn’t preclude accountability: It’s possible (and probably preferable) someone can both make restitution for their wrong and be forgiven. - Elizabeth Bruenig
  • My faith in Jesus has enabled me to forgive those who have hurt and scarred me. It has enabled me to pray for my enemies rather than curse them. And it has enabled me not just to tolerate them but truly to love them. - Kim Phuc Phan Thi


Love & Forgiveness by Jon Lin

Romans 12:9-21

But I Say to You, Love Your Enemies by John Piper

Matthew 5:43-48


6.10.18 Album